Tennis Says Women Are Whores
This year, Wimbledon will be offering the same prize monies for women that they do for men. This is a first for Wimbledon, but it isn’t a first for women and bitching their way into higher pay without...
View ArticleAlec Baldwin: Father of the Year
It’s not often that I, Dick Masterson, bestow an award like Father of the Year. In fact this is the only time I’ve ever done it. But who knows what the future holds. Submit your nominations for 2008...
View ArticleWomen Ruining Television
Women queer every deal that they’re apart of and they watch shit for television. That’s not me coming at you with a dose of truth. That’s 84-year-old, legendary BBC television presenter Sir Patrick...
View ArticleTerrorism!
Men are masters of terror. Men like Wes Craven and Stephen King. Men are also better than women at terrorism. Recently, a woman fucked up some terrorism so badly, she blew herself up in the middle of...
View ArticleWomen Don’t Want a Black Man in the White House
I’m disgusted by prejudice against men of all kinds. Prejudice against women is common sense. They’re no good at anything. Of course it’s okay to be prejudiced against them. It’s okay to be prejudiced...
View ArticleMiss Teen USA is Functionally Retarded
At a dog show, even third place is still a good specimen of dog. It might not be the best, but it’s a damn good dog. No one’s showing up at the Westminster Kennel Club with a dead monkey on a leash....
View ArticleThe Middle East Has Enough Problems As It Is
A women’s group in the Middle East is attempting to piss in the face of God this week by petitioning the king of Saudi Arabia for the driving rights they don’t deserve. That’s right, the burning bra of...
View ArticleKevin Federline: Man Hero
Today, October 1st, marks a great day for men and for justice. We can all give a manly nod and a manly point to the courts today, as they have just awarded Kevin Federline rightful custody over his...
View ArticleWhore-o-ween: Now For Kids!
If it looks like a stripper and costs like a stripper then it’s a stripper. This Halloween, woman-kind has lowered the bar of decency yet another inch in their eternal quest for gold at the Whore...
View ArticleSterilizing for Mother Earth
The reason it takes women two hours to go shoe shopping is because they anthropomorphise consumable goods. That’s what women are after all: consumable goods. It’s no surprise that they project their...
View ArticleAmerican Gladiators
“Now we’re getting serious, because next is the guys.” – Hulk Hogan, The New American Gladiators The original American Gladiators was among the top imangination breakthroughs of the early 90’s, picking...
View ArticleSpitzer to American Women: Lighten the Fuck Up
There’s a lot of truth to the old saying that American women are the most awful, entitled, and certainly the dumbest whores on the planet. Actually, it’s 100% true. Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New...
View ArticleA Case Study in Horizontal Success
There’s only one way for a woman to get ahead in this world, and that’s by fucking. The sooner a woman realizes that, the sooner she can begin the lifelong process of self-loathing and delusion that is...
View ArticleWatch Out Pedestrians! It’s Danica Patrick!
“Hi. Um, you know, it’s really, really unfortunate what happened today. Thoughts and prayers are with him, with his family and hopefully he can get back on the track soon and be able to do what he...
View ArticleWhore Sells House
A single mother in Florida by the name of Deven Traboscia is selling her house and herself on eBay for the low, low price of $840,000. Did I say low price? I meant outrageous price! In her own words,...
View ArticleFat Women: Stay Home!
Every weekend, millions of dumpy, 20-something sluts decide not to go to a nightclub because they’re an eyesore to men and an embarrassment to their species. Thank you ladies for doing that. You cows...
View ArticleOlympic Fuckery
As a rule, the Olympic Games are chalk full of fuckery. Now, stage that fuckery in capitalism’s lower intestine: China, and you’re guaranteed an epic level — nay, an evolution of clusterfuck. The...
View ArticleMcCain and the VPILF
I’m going to tell you guys the first thing I thought when I was text messaged a picture of McCain’s new VP by a dozen fucking people at 8 in the morning. I’d fuck her. Meet the world’s first VPILF,...
View ArticleWoman Astronaut Kills Everyone
NASA finally put a woman in charge of a spacewalk and guess what happened. Fuck ups happened. That’s what always happens when you combine women and space. Remember the Challenger explosion? That...
View ArticleTips for Gay Men on How to Avoid Gay Marriage
As a man, I am against gay marriage. Before all of you jackasses light your pink torches and start braiding your AIDS awareness ribbons into my noose, allow me to explain–even though I don’t really...
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